xkcd Time Wiki

The Knights Temporal[]

The Order of the Knights Temporal are a dedicated group of followers of Time, The One True Comic (OTC), dedicated to giving their all in its defense and protection*.  The Knights Temporal are also known as the Knights of the North (the land of the eternal Knights).

* Provided they don't actually have to do anything...


We, the Order of the Knights Temporal, have formed in order to protect and defend Time, the One True Comic (OTC).

We are faithful to the OTC and its Divine influence, but we hold ourselves to be outside any of the formal religions of the OTC. Thusly, we are open to all members1 of such religions,2 provided they resist the temptation to separate our order by Creedish differences. We of the Knights Temporal can accept that a NewPix = a Timeframe = a newpic, and all are but imperfect human attempts to describe the Perfect, Divine revelations of the OTC.

Although we use "Knight" as a genderless term, we are not a genderless organization, having both "Sirs" and "Dames" in our Order. We salute and welcome the differences of gender4, but respect each Knight in their own gender, as well as to whichever genderly parts each Knight might choose to have next to them during their Knightly activities.

Entry to our Order is through either nomination or self-promotion, and each member5 may adopt a new Knightly Name upon their entry, and may dub themselves as they see fit6.

Upon promotion to Knight Temporal, each Knight shall receive:

-- a Great Sword of +1 awesomeness
-- a Helm of Defense named "Matt"
-- a Butcher's Belt of +1 marination, suitable for girding one's Sir Loins
-- a Gauntlet of +1 speed -- perfect for running the gauntlet
-- a set of Chain Mail of Grue-Slaying (+2 defense against grues in the dark)
-- a special discount membership7 to the restaurant of the Thyme Waiters8, with an additional 20% for early-bird specials.
-- a Golden Watch of Watching, to be watched while Waiting for one's watch, or while watching one's Wait.
-- and possibly a cheap, plastic whistle.9

1 Heh, heh... He said "member"...

2 Except for those of the Western Paradox3

3 So of course, they are welcome also

4 Viva la difference!

5 Heh, heh... He said it again.

6 Self-dubbing is perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of. Come on, we all do it...

7 Heh, heh... now his member is on a ship...

8 Serving breakfast all the Time!

9Origin unknown. Use unknown. Suspected paradoxal temporal-loop anomaly. Smell it at your own risk.

Battle Cry[]

While loathe to actually do batttle, the Knights Temporal are huge proponents of battle cries, based on revelations from the One True Comic.  Their current Holy Battle Cry, based on Megan's insight is:

One of the Knights: The river is small!

The rest of the Knights: The sea is big!!!



Insignia of The Knights Temporal

(Courtesy of HAL9000)