Limericks are among the most popular forms of original poetry in the One True Thread.
The form of a limerick involves five lines, where the first, second and fifth lines have (with small possible variations) the same meter with three stressed syllables each and all rhyme with each other, while the shorter third and fourth lines also share a meter with just two stressed syllables per line and also rhyme, resulting in the rhyme scheme AABBA. All stressed syllables are separated by at least one unstressed syllable, and the placement of unstressed syllables at the beginning and the end of a line is optional but must follow the same pattern for all lines corresponding to each other[1].
The content of a limerick is usually comical and frequently features a protagonist together with a place name where the protagonist is said to come from. On the OTT, the conventions on limerick content are often treated as optional, however, while the conventions on form tend to be followed faithfully (unless deliberate violations of the form are intentional for comic effect).
Poems[]
There once was a comic on xkcd;
Sand castles by a sea of semencoffee.
It started to fade,
The timewaiters all prayed,
And la Petite returned! "Holy Shit," says me!!!!
There once was a comic, so sweet
with a little girl name La Petite.
But she came and went
and all hope was spent...
The little bitch!
What's the deal with that first strong sea wall?
What's the next hat? Will Cueball soon fall?
But the best-guarded mystery
In this thread's crazy history:
What does MobTeeseboose think of it all?
I was feeling a little perplexed
What to post instead of plain text?
I've done Double D
And a song parody
So a limerick seemed to be next!
There once was a poster named Ebonite
who's limerick has just one oversight
It's written all purty,
but just isn't dirty;
It needs "boobies" or "penis" to look right.
This forum has maddening ways
That keep me exhausted for days
Time waiters challenge me
To show off creatively
For off-handed nuggets of praise
There once was a woman in a bucket
She pulled on the rope as she said "fuck it"
She reached toward the sky
But she could not fly
On her ass she landed, so suck it
I have a meowlpy on my bed
She has yet to be fed
This isn't going to end well
If the limerick scheme if followed
So I better just stop while I'm ahead
There once was a girl with a crown
And pink boa of "Clerics" renown
She otted all dip
And soon she did skip
Away with a quick "Molpy down!"
This thread sure enjoys a good ditty
ev'n if they be never so witty
there are some who do sing
if a smile they might bring
but our puns don't get more than mere pity
I know that we've had some before
But like sandcastles built on a shore
They're always quite fun
And when we are done
There's certainly room for some more!
I've never been much of a poet
I sit back and let others do it
But when the pope asks
I get off my arse
Even I'm able to limer-it
My rhymings are somewhat a mess
My rhythm too I must confess
but what matters most
is pleasing the host
This last line I'm going to guess
I like making posts at the ONG
To keep the thread rolling along
I considered an OSH
But that was a wash
So I just did another old rONG
There was a TimeWaiter named Laura Mae
Who could happily OTT the whole day away.
But then she learned a trick,
Pouring sand with a click
And now she can't stop playing Sandcastle Builder aaaaaaaaaaaahh!!...
I thought it was just a dumb game
Where clicking increases debt gain
Now I'm the head
of a place called the Fed
But it's okay, 'tis only our kids who'll be pay'n
Looks a lot like the Newest Bangs Brother!
(Of course it could be some other)
But with sharp OTTer eyes
It's not a surprise
Good catch, let's look out for another!
There was a young dragon of Time
Who loved all the OTTers who rhymed.
But he had tests to take
That he couldn't forsake.
So he said "Ch*rping m*ustard gr*pev*ne!"
There once was a Thread called the One True
Where the folks were creative and fun, too.
They had WhOTT-ifs and rONGS,
They made OTTified songs,
And of course, the occasional pun too.
You're welcome, Sir Chronos of Dragon
Now drink some good ale from a flagon
With one thousandth post
You still do not boast
This thread trundles on like a wagon
Just to make a little thing clear
When I said "Damn the APs" back there
I do care about grades
But I'm a jack of all trades
And to study's not much of an affair
BG, what have you done to me?
I can't stop, master of cruelty!
I give all my might
when I try to write
I rhyme like BBAAB
Yes, limericks tend to upstage
All coherent thoughts, even rage
As with every decree
Here on the OTT
The feeling will pass, next newpage
There once was a momal decree
A bowlification4,5 I see
OTThercomic4 (new)
A retrOTT-if7, too
CHRDRG, happy 1000 to thee!
There was once was a PagePope named BlitzGirl
Who put the NewPage in a big whirl.
We had posts limerick
Till we all became sick
Better stop, there's a chance that we may hurl.
There once was a Cuegan from somewhere
who wondered why water would come there.
They climbed a big1 hill,
were at sea level, still!
and saved their whole tribe with a RUN scare.
On the other hand going to grad school
Can be difficult if you don't follow this rule
Make use of study aids
And aim for good grades
That'll show your professors you're no fool
Our Beanette and dear Beanie-1
Had lots of Panther Salve-y fun
Her stomach soon grew
And resulted in two
Beanie Babies when they were all done!
There once was a bot that got newpix
Posted a beanONG every fewpix
But when I ninja'd it
The poor thing threw a fit
And showed me the right way to do 'pix
So slow here, what does this portend?
Were there OTTers that I did offend?
Oh now I remember -
The first full September
Despicable, dreaded wip-end
The OTTers, they frolic about
Away on the side that is Out
So I'll post a rONG
And molpy along
Keeping things on the OTTerish route
I only just noticed, with gladness
The badge earned for Ninjaing Madness
Can be earned if you make
The game stop while you take
A full coma to hold off the badness
ChronosDragon reached 1,000 posts
About fellow OTTers he did boast
But he slipped in a penis
Did everyone see this?
We followed with cakes and a roast.
Optional Mome Decree:
Continue with the poetry!
I suck at limericks
and other poem tricks
So I might aim for doubly dactyly's.
An OTTer was recently busted
For stealing a truck full of custard
When the cops caught the perp
He exclaimed: what the chirp?
I thought I was taking the mustard!
I had seen what the sly dragon did
That penis-y word that he hid
If you look back you'll find
I responded in kind
Somewhere in the past-newpage grid
I'm not sure if you were aware
But the decree was a limerick up there
the first line of the decree
was underlined you see
Which causes confusion somewhere
I retract that which I said previously
I posted the thing far too hastily
for what I'd not seen
was that ED's post had been
a Double Dactyl and not a poem with rhymes free
Whenever the OTT starts to snooze
Somebody calls for the muse.
Then poets all day
take their words out to play
but punners must still pay their dues!
The OTTers are beat by no one
We write poems and all have good fun
But cookies I bake
Sandcastles I make
My OTTification's not done
Oh good, glad you noticed my fun!
To be fair, I did only post one
I started to guess
What to do with the S
But the compliment by then was done!
Tis the war that transcendes all of Time
'twixt the wielder of pun and of rhyme.
With words, if you play
you'll be taken away
and subjected to tortures sublime.
It seems that the pun is a drag.
Though the punner might think he's a wag,
'tis the lowest of wit
as the world will admit
but at least the joke's not in the [connection lost]
There once was a ninja named Lactive
whose stealth skills were quite unattractive
xe waited some wix
and began the longpix
where a boost made xer rather more Active
The pagepope's OTTercomic, of course
Is wowterful, just like the source!
(The stockpile of kegs
Was brought down by the legs
Of my dear molpy army work force!)
One day Neil showed up with brain slugs
With the sole goal of mind control face-hugs
Some people fell victim
And others just hit them
And Aluisio seemed to me on drugs.
So I gave out some pixel-art pumpkins
Halloween themed head-Trojans, or something
I thus saved the day
For a while, anyway
Until a new strain came a thumping.
The wipend is over in hours;
Are the OTTers all stuck in the showers?
Behind this poor bard,
The molpies still guard
The basement of BlitzGirl Towers.
A new othercomic is here;
For rebooting computers in fear.
Updates are like bots:
(do we like them lots?)
They Wait For It until they're clear.
There was a fine fellow named Cueball
Known by some as a bit of a screwball.
While he may not be facile
At building a castle
Without hands, neither'd be you all.
There once was a molpy named Spot
Who wandered through GLR's plot.
Yet to his regret
Being mere silhouette
His moniker became ...
There once was a seaish-sized thread
Where it seems many souls went to bed.
We let out a shout:
"Hey, MEETUP! Come out!"
And soon they rose like the undead!
Peeps from the past come a callin',
Everybody re-welcomes the fallen,
Never one to miss out,
I poetry spout,
Summoning even the deaf with my hollerin'!
Pinot is also quite fine.
Eating goes well with that wine.
Never however eat
inside. It's obsolete.
Surely it can't be benign.
There was a long thread about Time
With OTTers from every clime.
Once, Madness descended,
But Pinkishness ended
And OTTers responded in lime.
I once met this shy guy at work
Who looked at his screen with a smirk
He told me 'bout Time,
OTTers writing in lime
So now he's my weird friend from work.
An OTTer who lived in Karlsruh'
Made a wiki page just for haiku.
Didn't yet have enough
Of that editing stuff
So he made one for limericks, too!
The Python of Monty did make
a three sided record to take
advantage of people who
count only up to two
sides on a disk that's not fake.
mrob on the last page unfurled
A feature of WOW for Time World
Sandcastles would fall
And we'd stand in thrall
To our own sea now surging and swirled!
A cold raptorcat from the hills
Needed something to sooth aches and chills
He searched near and far
Till he found a big jar
[spoiler]Panther Salve[/spoiler]
The Othercomic for today
Regards planes as described to the lay.
The alt-text gives news:
Hydropower they use.
Better hope that those dams don't give way.
The Flood way up in an air lane?
Now that would be fun to attain
A Next Level trick
Perhaps we can stick
Our theme park inside of a plane!
Jar-jar with chainsaw of pun
thinks that he can't be outdone.
He won't disavow
Apocalypse now.
I think that I'd better RUN!
All the saws and the donuts I've flung
But Jar Jar is the hero unsung!
He's chased Jose off
So my hat I will doff
And for now I shall just bring an UNG:
When I come home and I stretch up
I relax and I read and I sketch up
A drawing or three
Then hello OTT!
It's time for some wowterful ketchup!
There's something I thought I should say
In my attic I've something to play.
On Mad magazine's cover
EIGHT tracks like no other
Have a super spectacular day.
There was a new poster named "it"
Unaware that they were holy writ
The Timewaiters stared
Their final goal, snared
In the needle-pulled thing just a bit!
When things aren't growing your way
You now have been given a say.
You click on a thing,
Delete it, and ding!1
There's space to keep baobabs at bay.
1No noise is actually made by deleting things.
A blitzreport and BlitzGirl's ketchup
Are like putting an OTT sketch up.
When a post makes me swoon,
E.g. mrob's great tune, (Mirror)
Then I realize there's no need to kvetch up.
Thanks for the new treeish feature!
Now I can prune out a creature
Or castle, or tree
That I don't wish to see
Bye Lucky; I think I'll impeach her!
There's not a good reason to fear.
The place to sign up is here:
https://www.jamberoo.net/
But prepare to get wet
Also I made my posts rhyme like a limerick but getting the meter right would take all year.
Now, why did I have to go do it?
Why on earth did I put myself through it?
ED mentioned a ride
That had spiders inside
So I looked them up, and now I rue it.
Transistors are writing in verse!
It really could be a lot worse.
If you're programming perl
in the lap of a girl,
I think many would rather disperse.
They threatened our cat-thing with flak
If he failed to give poems a crack.
"An assignment like that
Did you think I'd blanch at?
I've written sestinas, you hack!"
The iThing, it seems, had the knack
of putting the OTT out of whack.
But wiping its brain
though it seems inhumane
brought everything molpishly back.
Or could it perhaps be that puns
are things that for safety, it shuns?
In that case the shoes
with the teeth are the dues
paid for lexical-style overruns.
An OTTer who lived
In Karlsruh' liked Limericks
Matching Haiku. In
"Five, seven, five" times
Two, he did strive and manage
To write one all new.
There once was a fellow named Cue.
Of anything he had no clue.
But together with Meg
And his old, faithful bag,
He left home to find out something new.
There once was an OTTer name Zooman.
Not sure if a tortoise or hooman,
When xe became pope
It really was dope.
'Cause the poetry business was boomin'.
Then June Bug took leopard in hand
poetically taking a stand.
The thread shall be filled
with what Zooman had willed
using only an organized sand.
Once an OTTer in the OTT
Made a limerick-making decree.
So I add just a few
Lines to tell you: The [https://xkcd.com/2114/ new
OtherComic]'s girl is like the sea.
A physicist lived on a sphere,
but where - that is still not so clear.
Because every map that we used
has left us completely confused.
They only showed that we are "here".
An OTTer with wolpies times three
An OTTer, that I know as 'me'
Is not great at rhyme,
So has taken some time
To follow the page pope's decree.
An awesomeful poem for sure!
I hope that there are more in store.
And I hope SBN
Who has stopped by again
Has a new FFS to work for.
Whom will KXA phone? Her aunty?
Or her Mama in Nysa County?
On which date? Midnight? Noon?
“Hi, it's me from the moon!”
Having phone coverage is a bounty.
The previous page-pope's decree
Brought forth many haikus. ('Twas me.)
I fully approve
Of the current pope's move
Decreeing, "Let Limericks be!"
Two cars in a physicist's speech
Depart the equator to reach
The Earth's northern side
Where they must collide
Or come to a halt with a screech.
Returned from the basement with trees,
A jungle it's called overseas.
I read ev'ry post,
Enjoyed more than most,
And wanted to add on to these: [...]
This OTT page that we're on
Is right at this time nearly done.
The post by the goat,
As I'd like to note,
Will be just the very next one.
There was a young man from a house that's tall
Whose little wheeled robot once took a fall.
It smashed into bits
So tiny that its
Eventual repair had no chance at all.
Come on, everymolpy, feel free
To follow my pagepope decree.
A poem would be treeish,
'Twon't have to be seaish,
As long as it is poetry.
Through mustard and inclement weather
This needle-pulled thing is a tether
Ten yips along
The memory's strong
Of the Time we built castles together